'Sexy' People.

Matteo Di Lorio

Nothing is as “sexy” as someone who knows exactly what they have been put in the world to do. When I say sexy, this has nothing to the sexual appeal, more the magnetic quality of presence that arises from deep self-awareness, purpose, and alignment.

It’s the quiet confidence of someone who knows who they are, why they’re here, and lives accordingly — not for validation, fame, or material gain, but from an inner compass. It’s a kind of energy that draws people in — not loudly, but unmistakably screams presence, authenticity, convention, depth, passion, an inner fire, charisma and freedom. There is an “aliveness” in them that you can't ignore.

This is a reality for a few people and an aspiration for many.

You might have seen this Will Smith video, where he talks about reaching the absolute pinnacle (“cliff top”)—where you’ve achieved every dream and desire, and it can feel just like hitting rock bottom.

We often equate rock bottom, like the name implies, with literal rock bottom, the lowest, baddest, worst thing that can go wrong situations. When you have nothing else to lose. So, it's something of an oxymoron for someone to refer to a pinnacle, the peak, where you are killing it, as a “top of the world” place- as rock bottom, isn't it? He was talking life’s highs and lows, but the emptiness, an emotional abyss, that nothing you have can save you from.

This is scary—a cautionary tale.

While we need to strive and be productive and do all the things we must, we shouldn't get to that pinnacle or paradise, whatever it is for each person and wonder why? What was it all for?

It tends to happen when we think it's a place or a person or an attainment that will fill the hole in the doughnut for us. That is my way of saying: makes us feel whole.

The Paradise Paradox describes a seemingly “contradictory” situation where people living in seemingly ideal or prosperous conditions—such as safety, wealth, and comfort—experience high levels of dissatisfaction, loneliness, or mental health struggles.

It was modelled after the “Easterlin Paradox”, which says that beyond a certain point, income increases do not correlate with increases in happiness. The Paradise Paradox expands it outside just income to include environment (moving abroad might be great, but wouldn't automatically make you happier), relationships, that PJ or bag and other emblems of perceived “success.”

It’s the disillusionment that comes from “having it all” — wealth, success, beauty, status — and still feeling empty or unfulfilled. When the external world says you’ve made it, but your inner world feels disconnected or meaningless.

This is the reason I started the way I started. I might be wrong, but I think that might be the antidote to getting to “paradise; like Will Smith said, and start wondering what it was all about.

Because when someone is anchored in purpose, their sense of fulfilment doesn’t come from externals — it comes from alignment. They aren’t chasing the illusion of paradise (fame, status, approval); they’re inhabiting their truth. That’s grounding. That’s freedom.

They are immune to external validation( today that looks like the number of followers, lofty titles, awards, etc) because they have an internal compass and chasing meaning.

Their fulfilment is enduring and not short-lived. There is peace in the highs and the lows.

They have sovereignty over their soul. No need to trade their time, values, or integrity for shiny things. They’re anchored within, not adrift in the illusion

The sexiest kind of person is the one who has opted out of this kind of illusion and chosen meaning instead. That choice is the antidote to the paradise paradox. Because real paradise isn’t in what they have, but it’s in who they are.

Keep going,

Ije.