Hell Yeah Or No!

Peter Burdon

A few days ago, my daughter, Ziola was upset because she had asked one of her friends if she could come to her house ( last-minute plan) and the girl said no. 

As every annoying parent would do, I choose the wrong time to “preach”. I started saying how impressed I was with the girl for being able to say no because a lot of people find it very difficult(she is wondering whose mum I am at this point).

Yesterday, I overheard her grumbling to her brother about one of her friends that wants her to run an errand that was inconvenient. Again, I put myself in it and said “if you want to do something then do it whole-hearted but if you are grumbling then it means you are saying yes to something that you should say no to.” 

In the words of Derek Sivers, everything should be either a Hell yeah or no” no lukewarmness. 

“If you’re not feeling “hell yeah!” then say no. Most of us have lives filled with mediocrity. We said yes to things that we felt half-hearted about.” Derek Sivers

You hear that Ziola!!

Let does it really mean to say no. Let me use the economics term opportunity cost to explain it.

Opportunity cost is the value of the next-best alternative when a decision is made; it's what is given up. Simply put since you and time are limited resources, opportunity cost is what you give up because you decided to do something else. Eg if you decide to go to a party,  you can’t also spend that same time studying. At every particular time, our decisions are binary. It’s either you do x or you do y. 

So what is the value of the option you chose to say yes to versus the one you decided to say no to? You see that “decided” is in bold because everything is a decision (action or inaction)

The opportunity cost of saying yes to one thing over another means if you keep saying yes to the things that are not that important because you are trying to be liked, you won't have time for the “hell yes” to other things. The reverse is that the more you say no to the wrong things, the more time, energy, and focus you will have for the things that will excite you.

It takes a level of self-assuredness and prioritisation to say no. 

A newsletter I subscribe to had in one of its posts a collection of templates on How to say no in various situations. I particularly like how to say no to a phone call, how to say no to a meeting, and Steve Job’s one; very succinct. LoL

Here is an excerpt from Derek Siver’s book Hell Yeah or No:

“If you’re not feeling “hell yeah!” then say no. Most of us have lives filled with mediocrity. We said yes to things that we felt half-hearted about. So we’re too busy to react when opportunities come our way.

We miss out on the great because we’re busy with the mediocre. The solution is to say yes to less. If you’re not feeling “Hell yeah, that would be awesome!” about something, say no. It’s an easier decision.

Say no to almost everything. This starts to free your time and mind. Then, when you find something you’re actually excited about, you’ll have the space in your life to give it your full attention. You’ll be able to take massive action, in a way that most people can’t because you cleared away your clutter in advance.

Saying no makes your yes more powerful. Though it’s good to say yes when you’re starting out, wanting any opportunity, or needing variety, it’s bad to say yes when you’re overwhelmed, over-committed, or need to focus.

Refuse almost everything. Do almost nothing. But the things you do, do them all the way.”

As Mr Sivers said, you shouldn’t necessarily go about life not wanting to be helpful but you need to make sure that everything you say yes to you are fully in it ie a loud Hell yeah. The more Nos you say especially of the people-pleasing type, the more you are able to say yes to the things and people that matter.

Keep going,

Ije